It has come to my attention that someone has vandalized our cherished water tower by spray-painting the word “sucks” beneath the proud name of our town. While I admire their creativity, I must insist that our water tower remain a symbol of pride, not comedic critique.
If you have any information about this “artistic rebel,” please contact Town Hall. There’s a Milk Dud-filled gift basket in it for you—no questions asked (except for the identity of the culprit). Let’s restore Lantana’s glory, one cleaned-up water tower at a time.
Your Mayor